Dream of Space

 
story by Dereck
categories: Design 20, Space
2008-05-27 18:37:19
 
I've been in this space craft for around 8 years now. As a child, I had dreamed of going into space. Time passed, of course, and I had scrapped that dream along with so many others. It's something that would have been nice, I told myself, but it's outside of my grasp. Either I can dedicate my life to that one single dream, or I can wise up and pursue others.

Space, it would seem, thought otherwise. That's why I'm here now instead of back on Earth, the Moon, or any solid object out there.

On the days approaching the launch, I was focused on how a dream might come back to life. How, perhaps, we may never truly let dreams die. Rather, they simply get placed somewhere else. Somewhere out of sight and out of thought. Waiting, hidden, until we finally realize that our wisening up was nothing more than lies we told ourselves to make us feel more responsible. I felt a sense of idealism that I hadn't felt since I was a child.

Now, in space, I wonder where that idealism has gone. After the initial impact had worn off, and after the honeymoon phase of this dream and I, I find this is something I should have left hidden away. I had rationalized away the dream before, but idealism brought it back. Now, rationalization has settled back in using a different tactic. This is not a wisening up. I am not giving up this dream. I do not want this dream, I tell myself. I have rationalized a life without it. Rationalization won't save me this time.

I am living the dream.