17 Days: Day 9

 
story by Dereck
categories: Design 20, Wanderlust, 17 Days, Doors
2007-10-13 21:20:50
 
Doors. Counting doors. It had become my new obsession. It was difficult for the first week or so, but my mind eventually created some kind of ticker in its head.

I would reset every morning.

Exit my room into the hallway, click, 1. Enter my bathroom, click, 2. Enter my shower, click, 3.

I eventually noticed a pattern. I hadn't written down all the doors I used, but I started to really notice them. I would anticipate them. At any given time, I could tell you the last 10 doors I had used and the next 10 doors that I would most likely use. This started to sicken me. It just seemed so narrow. I mean, what about the doors I don't use?

And so I started to count every door that I walked by or through.

Wake up and look at my bedroom door, click, 1. Walk out my bedroom door and look at the hallway closet, bathroom, guest room, front door, click, click, click, click, 5.

In my mind, this was revolutionary. It was freeing. I was no longer looking at a path. I could now see the whole map. My focus had switched from my decisions to my possibilities.

I would inevitably continue to take the same path every day, but I knew where else I could go. This was the heart of the obsession. I would spend all day counting doors and daydreaming about everywhere else -- anywhere but here. Anywhere but the same old doors and the same old path.